The New Normal: Missing the Old Normal

We ended our school year with a masked faculty member bringing a black plastic trash bag filled with my fourth grader's belongings out to our car and putting it in the trunk. After a few days I finally worked up the nerve to open the trash bag and found all the sparkly, glittery pink notebooks and folders my daughter had picked out at the beginning of the school year, when she was so full of hope and excitement for school. I sat in the trunk and cried.

No matter what we do, the coming school year isn't going to look like the ones before it. It's not going to be crowded cafeterias with friends talking about their day, or kids guessing the number of Hershey's kisses in a jar at class parties. Whatever normalcy we're longing for our kids to have this year, they're not going to get it, no matter what path is chosen for us, nor what path we choose.

Since my kids are in a high-risk category due to my son's asthma and their dad's heart problems, I had decided when quarantine began months ago that returning to in-person learning probably wasn't a safe option for us in the fall. It's also why we've been declining playdates and avoiding trips to large public places. My parenting technique right now could best be described as Nicole Kidman in "The Others."

When I started reading about the great lengths that school districts were going to in order to attempt to resume in-person learning, and the many families that desperately needed it, I felt a little guilt, which was compounded by my own inadequacies as a homeschool parent (trust me, I will suck at it).

As of today, we're waiting for word from our school district about their plans for the fall. I am keeping my fingers crossed they'll have a virtual learning option. Given how quickly teachers were asked to switch to virtual teaching last spring, we were really happy with our experiences. All of our teachers were supportive, accessible and communicated well. I will opt for virtual learning through the district if it's offered, and if not, I'll begin researching online curriculum independently.

I will not be as patient as my children's teachers. I will not be as good at motivating them. But I am lucky enough to work from home, and we are lucky enough to have access to computers and the internet. If I keep my own two kids home, maybe that will make it a little easier on those students and teachers who have to be there. And maybe when they finally are able to return to school, it will be the world they remembered, pink sparkly notebooks and all.